Music: Dream On – Glee cover (Mr Schu ft. Neil Patrick Harris)
Reason why we all became nurses. To nurse Dean Winchester, obviously.
Apart from developing a love for Glee (LOVE Kurt. Quite partial to Finn & Puck too while we’re at it. I’d like to smack Quinn in the kisser..where was I?) I just finished my university degree this past week. This explains my quietness you see, 1 week of exams including the dreaded OSCE – stands for Objective Standardised Competency Examination. What it really is a terror fest where you stand clutching a syringe & praying the tutor doesn’t hear how the needle is actually rattling against the glass because your hands are shaking so badly. I focused on that & then focused on worrying whether I’d passed. But I have & my entire 3 year degree is closed off, finished. I graduate the 13th of December!
I started this degree thinking I’d have no friends the entire time, I’d even planned to write between classes. Sounds awful, but I’ve never been a popular kid. The popular kids are the airheads. Remember that children. Of course then I met some of the most awesome girls I’ve ever met who became my crew for the next 3 years. Including Mia, who I’m sure shares my thoughts. My confidence – not that I’ve ever been unconfident, I’m much too arrogant for that – soared. Finally people thought my jokes were funny, that Matt Smith was indeed hot, that the blonde with the sour face needed a good smack, that coffee is a perfectly good reason to miss a class. You have no idea how important it is to walk into a lecture hall & see someone waving you to a seat if you spent 4 years in an all girls’ high school feeling like a loser.
An accurate representation of nursing uniforms. And the size of syringes.
& we’ve had some epic moments. Like the time we had Baby Class (2nd year Family Centred Nursing) and were given those baby mannequin resuscitation dolls. Unfortunately Mia & I had each had a massive cup of hot chocolate with cream. I had also had a bag of sour Skittles and the resulting sugar high caused me to go off the charts. Baby Cornelius the Resus Doll suffered numerous injuries that would have had Social Services swooping in if he’d been real. He learnt to write & then to spontaneously vomit. Then to projectile vomit. Then he beat Mia’s baby to death before waving at the tutor. Who had the good grace to tell me never to have kids.
That time Shae & I decided the adult mannequins in the Sim Lab were called Harry & Bones (Bones was the skeleton) & proceeded to do a risqué photoshoot with them.
The very recent time Karen got me drunk & I learnt very quickly that I don’t like wine. I also learnt Kylie is a fabulous person to have with you if you’re losing your stomach lining. And that having 5 nurses around you is NO help when you’re sick as they’re all too busy laughing at your first drunken escapade to be any help.
That none of us understood that ethics class. Or passed it.
And in reference to that ethics class, all those times I was writing away in a notebook, I wasn’t learning the lesson at all. I was writing my first book.
The time Kerry & Shae made me invite a crush on a coffee date, then sat there nudging me with their elbows & making suggestive eyes.
The amount of times we’ve said “What the hell is this class?” “I have no idea”
Or “Am I actually going to use this in the real world?”
Or “Look I would like to help you recover from your heart attack but first I need to document & use non malificence”
The time we practiced catheterisation & Mia & I just rammed that tube on home.
When we did blood glucose levels & knowing I am petrified of needles, Mia generously took one for me. THAT is a true friend!
The absolute sheer panic about picking tutorial groups because its just madness to not be in a group with your friends
The time we asked the 107 tutor whether eating a lot of bananas would cause you to upset your sodium-potassium balance and thus kill you.
God bless ‘em.
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Tags: grad, nursing, uni
